Wednesday, 3 January 2018

My Weight Loss Journey: Past, Present & Future

For years I have struggled with my weight, yo-yoing between diets and today marks the first day that I change that and begin my weightless journey. Today is the day that I'm making the choice to change my life, because I know that in losing weight, I will change every single part of my life for the better.

Before I talk about what I'm doing to kickstart my weightless journey, I want to rewind a little to where my issues first began. I'm planning to document my journey and I want my story to be the full journey, not just the ending, because the journey is the most important part. Although, to be honest, if I could fast-forward to the end of my weightless journey I'd be all over that!


So, rewind 10 years when I was at uni studying to be a teacher, something that I have always dreamed of and on placement working under the biggest bitchiest bitch I have ever met. She was seriously awful and I was a clueless student with very little confidence. She bullied me, but at the time I didn't realise that was what was happening, I just thought I was a terrible teacher who was never going to make it. I won't go into all of the details of the many things that she did, but a few of the meanest include her telling a staffroom of teachers that I would be more use locked in a cupboard rather than teaching and piling 4 tables filled with things from around the classroom that she claimed I had dumped, then telling me as I was about to leave for a very needed Christmas holiday that I wasn't allowed to go until I put every single thing away and took down all of the displays I had put up. This led to me being the only person still at school at 8pm, hysterically sobbing as I tidied the things I had never seen before.


This was the final straw for me and I quit, leading me to graduate late. After that I had nothing to do, uni wasn't open because everybody was on teaching placement and so I stayed home, and probably became more depressed than I admitted. I stayed home and I ate. A lot. Everyday. I gained so much weight that I became embarrassed by how quickly I had gained weight, so I chose to hide. It was a vicious circle and the beginning of my weight battle. Looking back now, as a more mature and confident person, I realise I should never, ever have let somebody have so much control over me and I also know that she was a small, unhappy and wicked woman who enjoys seeing people sad. If I learnt anything from the experience, it's the type of person I hope never to be.


In 2012 I decided to make a change. I joined a slimming club and the weight dropped off me, losing between 4-6 pounds a week and a total of 63 pound. I felt good and I was enjoying life. I followed a healthy diet, but I followed it well, being very strict with myself. I joined the gym and I felt good about what I was doing. Not to blow my own trumpet as I'm well aware that I'm very much your average girl, but I looked good. I wore pretty clothes, I took the time to make myself look my best and most of all, I felt happy and it showed.


The problem is that once you have a weight issue, it's always there and if you don't keep it in check it's easy for it to spiral out of control again. I met Paul in 2013 and he was the first guy I had dated in a really long time. I just didn't feel worthy of dating before then. He was a teeny tiny guy who ate like a horse and never gained weight. It's just not fair is it girls? We had too many date nights that involved food and the weight started to creep back on slowly.


We then moved to Beijing, which has been great in many ways but so bad for me in many other ways, namely my waist line. Beijing has been tough for us in many ways and we've probably not been happy there for quite a while. These are all excuses of the worst kind, but work is hard there and we're exhausted most of the time, it's impossible to get or hands on quick, healthy meals and let's be honest, a lot of what we do is comfort eating too. This has saw me gain almost all of the weight I had lost and lose all of the confidence I had gained, which is devastating on so many levels.

I'd love to say I'm happy at this size, that I'm confident in my own skin but I'm not. Far from it! My weight affects everything I do in a negative way, including my relationships with others. It's time for a change and today is that day.

Looking Forward


So now that I've talked about how I got to this point, it's time to discuss what I'm going to do going forward in my weightless journey. I've tried so many fad diets, meal replacements, cutting out certain foods, you name it and I've probably tried it. And while they all worked temporarily, none were sustainable and for the amount of weight I want to lose, I need sustainable.

I'm not doing anything groundbreaking, simply building a healthier lifestyle. I'm eating healthy meals, snacking on healthy snacks and building more activity into my daily routine. I'm not depriving myself of treats now and again and I'm not halting my social life in order to lose weight. Simply put, I'm making a lifestyle change that needs to be here to stay.

I'm done with my weight affecting my life and with exciting plans this year, I'm more determined than ever to really focus on my weight loss journey so I can enjoy them to the max. It's going to be a tough journey, but I'm ready for the challenge.

Do you have any tips on weight loss? Let me know in the comments, I'll take all of the advice I can get.
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40 comments

  1. It is my understanding that slow and steady is the right way to lose weight, that most people trying to lose too much too soon end up frustrated and end up gaining again. My mother used to say "everything in moderation" and I agree with that philosophy. Since you were able to lose weight by swimming and other exercises in the past, I would say do more exercise again, even if it is just walking a certain amount every day.

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    1. Thanks for the tips Deborah! I agree that moderation is key in order to maintain a healthy weight.

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  2. Kudos for you for trying to have a good lifestyles. Not all people will have the determination to be fit and healthy. Actually, as long as you're happy and confident, you're good. What I usually do, is do some pilates or exercise for 30mins a day. And one day rest every week.

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    1. Exercise is definitely important, I need to work on doing more this year! Thanks for sharing your tips.

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  3. my tip on weight loss is to eat healthier foods, exercise and keep doing it even if you feel tired. the end result will be a better you, so keep grinding through the hard times ad the results will come.

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    1. I'm hoping it will all become easier as it becomes routine. Thanks for the tip!

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  4. I can so relate to the fact that "once you have a weight issue, it's always there" I had a struggle losing weight after giving birth and I still need to make sure I dont lose the way back.I'm happy for you for going back to London I remember you once said on Instagram that you are looking forward to be closer to your friends and family again, good luck

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    1. Ugh, it's so bloody hard isn't it! I definitely am looking forward to being closer to friends and family - thank you!

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  5. I did had a weight issue like you. You know what helped me most? Cycling, by the time I did my basic education, I lost like lot of weight before I realized I was Skinny. And Now I am little fat. Circle of Life I guess. Maybe you should write on cycling. Just a Suggestion.

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  6. I have fallen into the trap of comfort eating and over eating when I am depressed so I totally understand your situation. I don't get over weight but I still don't like the way I look at the moment. I have started a new work out a meal plan too and determined to stick to it. Let's work hard and get back to our desired shapes! We can do it right?

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  7. Hey Nikki, well done on you for not giving up on your goal of losing weight. Most of all, you think you're doing that to gain health and not so much think about the weight itself there it is, the best tip I can give you! Set your mind for healthy food and having nothing in the house that can set you in temptation, XX

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    1. Thanks Amalia, that's exactly what I'm doing right now. I have no unhealthy food in the house at all so I'm not tempted. x

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  8. Love all the images of drinks by the beach. Does life get any more perfect than a sunset with a cocktail in your hand? I don't think so!

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    1. I don't think life does get better than that! Haha!

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  9. Hey Nikki. I can relate to you on this honestly. I have gone through the same stages from petite to fat and then back to normal. But you are right the weight just creeps back slowly and slowly. I know healthy lifestyle is important and consistency is the key. I strongly suggest to start counting calories but don't starve yourself. Small little treats are also necessary to keep the progress and motivation going. Apart from all these, be happy and love yourself.

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  10. Oh lovely, whoever that horrible person was that was meant to be mentoring you on that 'teaching graduate programme' is an absolute bitch and the fact that she treated you badly shows that she was obviously very insecure in herself and jealous of you which is why she felt she had to be such a massive raging asshole. So I can imagine that had a toll and while you have had ups and downs in your weight loss journey, don't beat yourself up because at least you are trying and that is all that matters!

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    1. Thanks Ana, she really was a massive raging asshole!!

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  11. Taking that first step is always the hardest, and you've done it! :) I hope I had any advice to give but I'm no expert at healthy living, so let me just send good vibes your way. Looking forward to hearing about your journey!

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    1. Thanks Joline, I appreciate the good vibes!

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  12. You had a great journey but I believe that being consistent in your exercises , not pushing your body too much and a really healthy diet will always make you love your body and skin and you'll be more confident.

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    1. I agree Jhilmil, a healthy diet is so important!

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  13. A gradual weight loss is good, and having an overnight weight loss is alarming. Yours is just fine and you look great! Always have a happy smile :)

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    1. Thanks Blair, I agree slow and steady is the way forward!

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  14. I'm so excited for you. You are excited and focused and that's a start. You don't have to starve yourself!!! Don't weigh yourself for the first month!!! Walking is perfectly except able cardio. Walk enough to get that heart rate up, you shouldnt be able to talk and that your sweating. Find an accountability partner to encourage and support you! Good Luck! You can do it!!

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    1. Thanks Rose, great tips! I'm definitely not somebody who could starve myself, I love food way too much!

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  15. You look amazing now already. But I'm sure you're going to smash this and reach your targets, you seem so determined!

    Ami xxx

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    1. Thanks Ami, that's sweet of you to say. I am determined to smash it!!

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  16. I am sure that you will achieve your goal through a slow and steady pace. Just eat healthy, exercise and take it slowly and you will get the results you want.

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  17. That's great that you have changed your lifestyle into a more healthy one... I'm happy to hear you're feeling more positive and better altogether! Making a lifestyle change isn't easy, so hats off to you!

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    1. Thank you for the positive words. It sure isn't easy!

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  18. I personally think you look amazing in all those pictures! Well done for making the committment to a healthier lifestyle, it is all too easy to stay the same.

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  19. I know you will work things out for your weight. I don't have great advice other than getting on something and sticking to it. I know diet and exercise works. And you can do amazingly well. You know you have done it before, which helps going forward.

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  20. The biggest advice that I can give to you is to try to stay positive and consistent. There will be days that you don't want to get out of bed. Put affirmation sticky notes on the wall above your bed or the nightstand to read every morning you wake up. The key is to retrain your mind and I truly think that you are doing a phenomenal job so far!! I am excited for you lol and I can't wait to watch your journey! ❤

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  21. I have the same goal of losing weight this year (and the years that had passed). I'm technically overweight now and I wanna have a motivation to do workout and be consistent on it. Thank you for sharing this!

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  22. I am a major comfort eater, especially in the colder months, which I think happens to all, most would agree. But you have done a great job lovely.

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